A record of my wanderings, spiritually, that is.
Growing up, Christianity was very much a part of my life – church and/or Sunday school on Sundays, youth group, Bible study – but I wouldn't say that I grew up in a Christian home. Through a series of events and circumstances I joined Youth With A Mission and ended up working with them in Christian Missions for the best part of three years. That experience, with its emphasis on communal living and 'sandpaper ministry', in many ways spoiled me for 'ordinary' church life. I then tried to be part of a local church, and while I enjoyed the friendships I made, I usually felt hungry for more or rebellious at what I perceived as pressure to conform. I then tried a few home-based models. I still think that the groups I was associated had a lot potential, but the last one I was part of got 'programmed', my wife started taking our children to her mother's church, the home church meetings were a hike away so, as far as I was concerned, it was not viable for me. After some time at my wife's church I joined the men's group and that got 'programmed' as well. I went into hibernation mode. I admit there was quite a bit of hurt based on my (carnal and other) unfulfilled expectations, but I think I am over it now.
I am thankful that throughout I have managed to hang on to few quality relationships with godly men.
Somewhere along the line I got my hands on Pagan Christianity by Frank Viola and George Barna and what I read there made sense. I was already uncomfortable with mainstream Christianity as a whole: the programs, the 'professional Christian', the emphasis on attendance, the 'service experience', 'praise and worship', requests for money – now I had a good handle on why.
On a parallel track, ever since the 2001 attacks I became more aware of world events – not in the sense of being a current events and a news junkie, but I started to develop a framework for understanding certain trends, systems and institutions (read: global politics and economics, banking system, powers behind the scenes) in a more analytical fashion. I guess I became a bit of a 'conspiracy theorist' – which can be a convenient label to apply to people whose interpretation of reality is not consistent with the interests of the influences behind mainstream media and governments. Which 'theories', by the way, started matching with various interpretations of events eschatological that I found on the web.
(I know that correlation does not necessarily imply causation, but just because I am paranoid does not mean that someone is not out to get me.)
About this time my brother sent me a book called 'Know the Future'. The first time I read it through like a novel, then, six months later, with a Bible and a fine-toothed comb. I then gave a copy to a friend of mine whose knowledge of the Bible I respect and asked him to find the holes in it. He didn't find anything in the book that smacked of false prophecy or plain bad scholarship.
Now on another parallel track: throughout the years, I have had an interest in the state of Israel and the history of the Jewish people. As a young boy I read of the 'David and Goliath ' -story of the 1967 war and followed with concern the Yom Kippur war in 1973. I would read histories of Israel, the Shoah, Jews in the Diaspora, biographies of famous Jews ( including that of General John Monash of the First AIF for all you Aussies) as well as few books by Jewish authors – Isaac Bashevitsh Singer, Leon Uris, Phil Roth and Joseph Heller come to mind . (Mind you, this was not my sole reading topic, but there definitely has been and is still a consistent interest.)
In 1992 I had an opportunity to tour with a troupe of performing artists, some of whom were Jewish. This tour was organised by the International Christian Embassy in Jerusalem (ICEJ). (A recollection of a highly subjective experience coming up. Reader beware.) One of the very haunting and evocative songs sung on the tour would end in a plea; 'Come home, O Israel'. This would without fail move me to tears. Had I been given the chance to move to Israel at that time, I think I might have taken it. There seemed to be something in the 'cockles of my belly' that responded to that invitation.
Maybe five or six years ago (it is now 2010) I had an opportunity to sit in on a week-long seminar given by a Messianic Jewish rabbi with a focus on the fulfilment of Old Testament prophecies in the person of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Few years later, when I still attended church services, a visiting Bible teacher ran a series of teaching events on the Hebrew culture, language and mindset and how increasing that understanding should be part of Bible study. This would enable the Bible student to grasp the parables of Jesus Christ as well as the Hebrew Bible imagery and language in a deeper way. It seems to me that there was more to studying the Old Testament than 'owning' the various blessings and promises given the Almighty, or merely having a rudimentary understanding of Sunday school Bible stories. Once again I was hooked.
Fast forward to late 2000s: it came to light that my brother and sister were more or less on the same journey. Unbeknownst to each other, we had all developed and pursued an interest in Israel, Judaism, the Torah and the rest of the Tanakh (the 'Old Testament').
Now on another parallel track: throughout the years, I have had an interest in the state of Israel and the history of the Jewish people. As a young boy I read of the 'David and Goliath ' -story of the 1967 war and followed with concern the Yom Kippur war in 1973. I would read histories of Israel, the Shoah, Jews in the Diaspora, biographies of famous Jews ( including that of General John Monash of the First AIF for all you Aussies) as well as few books by Jewish authors – Isaac Bashevitsh Singer, Leon Uris, Phil Roth and Joseph Heller come to mind . (Mind you, this was not my sole reading topic, but there definitely has been and is still a consistent interest.)
In 1992 I had an opportunity to tour with a troupe of performing artists, some of whom were Jewish. This tour was organised by the International Christian Embassy in Jerusalem (ICEJ). (A recollection of a highly subjective experience coming up. Reader beware.) One of the very haunting and evocative songs sung on the tour would end in a plea; 'Come home, O Israel'. This would without fail move me to tears. Had I been given the chance to move to Israel at that time, I think I might have taken it. There seemed to be something in the 'cockles of my belly' that responded to that invitation.
Maybe five or six years ago (it is now 2010) I had an opportunity to sit in on a week-long seminar given by a Messianic Jewish rabbi with a focus on the fulfilment of Old Testament prophecies in the person of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Few years later, when I still attended church services, a visiting Bible teacher ran a series of teaching events on the Hebrew culture, language and mindset and how increasing that understanding should be part of Bible study. This would enable the Bible student to grasp the parables of Jesus Christ as well as the Hebrew Bible imagery and language in a deeper way. It seems to me that there was more to studying the Old Testament than 'owning' the various blessings and promises given the Almighty, or merely having a rudimentary understanding of Sunday school Bible stories. Once again I was hooked.
Fast forward to late 2000s: it came to light that my brother and sister were more or less on the same journey. Unbeknownst to each other, we had all developed and pursued an interest in Israel, Judaism, the Torah and the rest of the Tanakh (the 'Old Testament').
Where is it where I am
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